I don’t want THIS ONE to go to waste

I used to write song lyrics. Rap, primarily. I wrote this from the bottom of my heart. The bottomless pit of darkness. Or so they say.

I’m in a rush to move to Russia

America, I can never trust ya

You had me fucked up so much when you drug me through the mud

And dunked me to drown in it ’til I struggled just to lift my lungs up

They collapsed in the flood of the storm, hushed

And It sucks to be crying blood because my love’s smothered and suffocating

My heart that I clutch ’cause now it’s shattered and sunken

And I can feel it in my gut, my stomach’s cut up and i’m hungry but all I got to eat are bugs in this grave that you dug

You should’ve never woke me up from my slumber, you did a number on me, i’m just keeping it hundred

I’m just saying if they wanna push the button on this country, you’ll find me standing there like pip-boy with my thumb up but forget it, it’s nothing

I’ve written these lyrics during a time of depression and paranoia. I delved into my darkness to present you with my gift!

I was also on drugs during or around this time. Crack cocaine. I haven’t smoked that trash since 12/31/2024. New Year’s Eve night, before the ball dropped, was the last time I took a hit (or a blast as they like to call it).

I plan on staying clean off that stuff. I only smoke cannabis. It’s very therapeutic for me, and it helps me self reflect in ways most narcissists would be too scared to try. Scared of themselves, of course. All I’m saying is, I don’t consider cannabis or bud, a drug. It helps me work on my psyche in ways by forcing me to face my intrusive thoughts so I can learn to ignore them and let them pass. It also helps me emotionally stabilize by keeping me in a good mood, mellow, and happy!

I believe that if I tried a little harder, I could start working on the protest. I’ll write it out, and then others can execute it and put it into motion. I wanna see things change, not only for in this country, United States of America, but all around the world! I think BIG! I dream BIG! I see big changes to America for the better. Making this for once, a great nation!

Right now, I’m just laying in my tent on my cot. My friend was nice enough to sell it to me for $20. It was well worth it! All I had to do was buy him some vodka, and he called it even. All I’m going to be doing is laying down and playing video games!

But first, I’m going to smoke more! 😉

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