I’m really starting to believe my old thought patterns again. Their past left scars that hold as evidence to declaring the truth.
😒
- I get the feeling like nobody loves me or wants to have me around them
- I feel super fucking ignored, unacknowledged and not listened to
- I have been thinking of seriously disappearing, going ghost and silent
One too many coincidences become a pattern.
Patterns never lie. Never.
Too many people have been playing head trips with me lately. Games. Stupid and petty shit. But lately its been showing me how people REALLY feel about me. It ain’t the same as the shit they be talking. Their actions speak much louder than their words.
Today I called Gateway. Its my mental health services organization. I have 3 workers. A psychiatrist, a therapist and a case manager. My therapist is fake and only wants to focus on my negative energy and not my positive. My psychiatrist was requested an increase in my anxiety medication as I have severe social anxiety and don’t like being in public. The doctor thought it would be a much better option, to lower my dosage instead. Mhm. Then we have my case manager. Doesn’t do a fucking thing for me. Completely useless and only brings up more useless and unnecessary resources that I could care less about. So I called Gateway. To cancel my services. They forwarded me over to my case manager (the one who doesn’t do anything for me). He picked up but he was with a client, told me he would call me back. Didn’t. I left him a text:
I see my case manager for meds on Wednesday. Fuck you and fuck off. You don’t do your job. I haven’t been taking my meds as it is anyways. I am doing fine without them. The only paper work I need to be signing is a termination to your organization. ✋️
Dunkin Donuts is really starting to get petty too. Not just one. Two. Both fucking up my orders. Ya know, all these Dunkin gift cards can be sold or traded for weed. I’d rather smoke than have a luxury coffee, thank you. Which goes to the dude who gives me these gift cards in the first place:
Bro, no. Getting sick of your games too. How about this. Give me all the shit you already bought me and then keep supplying me with useless or unwanted shit and Dunkin cards so I can keep making money and supplying my weed habit. It’s all about priorities. Right? I don’t want the van. The van is a luxury. I want a fucking house! Get it? Got it? Good!
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